Monday, April 29, 2013

The Controversial Post-Date Text


Per request of more than one male individual I wish to address a very trivial yet important subject matter. The PDT (Post Date Text). We must keep in mind, that since man has walked on earth he has courted the opposite sex in some way or another. Adam undoubtedly took Eve for adventurous jaunts through the vast Garden of Eden. Julius Caesar most definitely took Cleopatra out from time to time to watch a chariot race or public hanging. And JFK certainly if not clandestinely took Marilyn Monroe out on the town, even if said rendezvous was just a licentious meet up at a hotel. My dad took out my mom. He took her to Trafalga Fun Center and wooed her with his slim figure and jocular personality. But since the advent of cell-phones and text messaging, dating has turned into a complex social convention with many unwritten do’s and don’ts. What used to be so simple and romantic has become confusing and convoluted thanks to technology. This is not to say there are not numerous benefits to the aforementioned innovations. My goal is in no way is to make an exhaustive attempt at balancing the use of technology in dating (at least not here and now.) My simple desire is that a certain portion of these advancements can be utilized.
I think it is fair to say in the initial stages of courtship that the man does the bulk of the work. Not that this needs to change, I am simply stating a fact. Usually the man, approaches the woman; he gets her number, he asks her out, he picks the date, he picks her up, he opens her door, he pays, he drives home, he opens more doors, he leans in for the first kiss. I am a huge fan of chivalry. The word chivalry dates back to 1292, derived from chevalerie essentially meaning horsemanship, the meaning stretched to mean courtly behavior, then finally became synonymous with being gentleman like. At any rate, I believe in it. Women are princesses and deserve this gallant treatment. I just ask one thing. I ask that after all this hard work, and knightly behavior we can receive some sort of clue that the nymph involved is interested. A simple post date text would suffice. The simple gesture of thanking us for our time and effort would be amazing. Women are difficult as it is to read. What are we supposed to think if we go to such great lengths to spend time with a beautiful nubile and are rewarded with silence? Perhaps silence is the appropriate response if the date was untoward or off putting. But if you had a good time, and would not mind seeing the fellow again, post-date-text that young ruffian.
Maybe some girls are thinking well that would make me sound like a desperate damsel. What is desperate about homologating that you had a lovely time? You do not need to send a long text replete with future plans of suburban bliss. Honestly even a smiley face text would feel like a championship some nights. It is terrible to have what you think was an amazing first date, and then wonder for the next couple of days if the girl is just very good at being polite and acting interested.
I hope women do not think this is an attack on them. Volumes could be written on how men need to treat women better. We are often uncouth and downright awful to the ladies. And there is no excuse for our species lack of tact and respect at times. But this is not a battle of the sexes. This is just a courtesy that would be greatly appreciated. I would estimate that I receive a post date text between 10 and 15 percent of the time. I think that number is too low. And I am sure my brethren can agree with me.  And another thing…don’t go out with a guy for the mere fact that you would fancy a free meal. Bush league. You are better than that.

4 comments:

  1. I blogged about this myself not too long ago. I took a consensus and many boys said they needed to "thank you text" or else he would stop pursuing her. Others said that was a sign of insecurity and he would keep asking her out until he decides he's not into her, or she tells him no. As a lady, who likes to be treated as such, I don't send thank you texts--in fact, (at the risk of sounding cocky, which I don't mean to be, I'm just stating a a fact,) guys usually send me a thank you text after our date. I am more about personal. If I am interested in a guy, I'll say something, verbally, to his face. I always, always thank him for the date regardless, because that's good manners, but I will do/say something a little extra if I like him. Because for me, I think dating should be done the old fashioned way, and I think sending a text to express your interest is in similitude with being asked on a date over texting...which I never accept. And you know, so far it seems to have worked pretty well. But maybe that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Valid points. I have just rarely seen progression if I send a thank you text after the date. Girls easily feel smothered. And I wish more girls were like you, and advocates of personal contact. But the truth is the vast majority do the vast majority of their communication via text. At least till you start to spend more time together. Thanks for the input Olivia :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. As women, we're supposed to be the better communicators, so I think that it's our responsibility to express how we're feeling. I think a text is great because it's less ambiguous. If we say something face to face, it could be seen as being polite. If we make that little extra effort to say, "had a great time tonight," then the man knows we mean it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amen Taylor. Thanks for posting this

    ReplyDelete